Why is it that all my life I've only owned zero-$ phones and they can last me for years, but once I allowed myself to pay a few hundreds more for a smarter phone, it lasted me for only 3 months?!! Or is it only because it is an IPhone 4??? Is IPhone such a great evil temptation that cause a otherwise honest man to want to keep what's not his?
When Vic and I went around searching for the phone, I knew that it was probably gone. Or maybe there will be a miracle if I keep finding. But in case it's lost, Candy it's just a phone... it's not the end of the world... I keep reminding myself that as I walked through the aisles of stationeries.
Finally, all hopes were gone when Vic tried calling again and the phone was OFF. Reality still sinking gradually. I started recalling endless this and that picture I have captured of Tessa smiling cheekily, playing pickaboo, flipping over, sucking her thumb, Tessa's different milestones, Tessa's sound recordings of her cute laughter and our conversations... In the midst of the Bookfest crowd, I cried.
I used to make myself feel better when I lose something by imagining that perhaps, it was picked up by a poor beggar who really wanted to buy a gift for his child but had no money to do so, so that my lost could be a child's blessing. But with phones this just doesn't work. The poor beggar is clearly selfish and dishonest to switch off the phone, and what kind of good is there when one presents a downright stolen gift for his child??? I really feel sorry for you thief, your conscious is only an IPhone worth (I paid about $300). When you shut down my phone so that I could not contact you, how did you feel??? Happy? Guilty? Scared? Did you scramble out of Suntec fearing that you'd be found??? You shut down someone's hope of finding her phone back, a phone that contains very important notes, contacts, and hundreds of precious photos and memories. How could you live with that!!!
Standing at the exit of Bookfest, I wished I could wake up at some point to learn that it was just a bad dream. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't a dream because dreams have no smell and I could smell something coming from Tessa's diaper. Yes, it's all real. And no matter how a mummy feels, she's got a diaper to change. *sob sob*, and *sigh*
Thankfully, I had Tessa looking into my eyes and smiling at me the whole time while I was cleaning up her poo. She had no idea what happened to mummy. To her, it was just a pure moment of "mummy is always here for me". She helped me to smile even with tears in my eyes.
So, my phone's gone and along with it many things that I treasured. This morning I woke up and felt a little lost. I guess I will have to take a while (a week?) to grief and grumble about the adjustments back to a "not-so-smart phone". But Sony Ericsson's good too, and I shall be contented with what I have.
2 comments:
It must have been a long time since I visited your blog.
oh, I hate that shitty feeling of u n lin losing your Iphones, i know how it feels to save so hard to buy something which we usually get them free and then to lose them. Somedays, it makes me feel like not getting one to stand along side with both of you.
haha...no lah if u can afford u shld get one. It's really very useful n u get to check stuff wherever u r (eg. which level u can find nursing rooms at different malls, where got kiddy palace, etc etc...haha...)
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